Don't envy me.

Don't envy me,
When I have the correct answer.
Don't envy me,
When I got a praise.
Don't envy me,
When I receive a high score.
Because everything comes with a price,
You just choose not to see it.

I gave up my life,
I gave up my family,
I gave up my home,
To come here to study.
I have given it all,
So I will take back in return.

I set higher standards for me,
I gave myself a tighter schedule,
I forced myself to learn harder,
To rub my nose against the grindstone
Even if it hurts,
Because I have nothing else now.
If I never grab while I have the chance,
It will never come my way again.

Dearest friends,
I am not perfect.
I just tried my best,
And give all I had.
It is the only thing I have got,
And it is the only chance I am given.
You have not walk my life,
You have not step into my shoes,
So don't say I am better.
The sweat and tears behind a glittering story,
Too numerous, so I never complain.

You saw what I choose for you to see,
You saw what you wanted to see,
And you were not disappointed, are you?
Smart, Intelligent, Pretty,
Amusing, Fun, Witty...
The list is endless,
But they all sum up to one thing,
That I am perfect.
But I hope you can understand,
What it means to be perfect.
The price to pay when everyone thinks you are perfect.
And perhaps someday,
You might tell me,
Being perfect, is not so perfect after all.

A Golden Girl,
That's what you all love to call me.
Teacher's pet,
That's who I am.
I admit, I love being a good student,
I hate to disappoint them,
And I promise myself to be better.
But friends, dearest,
These jokes were not funny.
To hear them often,
I started to think
Is being a good girl
That bad?
Is it unusual,
To want to be a good girl?
Honey, baby,
Put yourself in my place,
And take a look at the world
Through my glasses.

I got here today,
Because I have given up a whole lot more on the way.
Are you prepare to give up that much?
Are you prepare to suffer the snobbishness of others
When they hear what I have chosen?
The regrets in my life
Too much to count,
Young as I may be.
There were times when I wished,
I could have done something different,
But I have made my choice a long time ago,
And I will stick to it,
Whatever happens.
Take a look at my scars,
Those that I took so much care to hide away,
And tell me,
Do you still want to be me?
I am broken on the inside,
Beautiful on the outside.
A doll, a china doll.
And I ask you once more,
Do you still want to be me?

Don't envy someone who came a long way here.
Don't envy someone who spends her time taking notes.
Don't envy someone who reads everything twice or thrice.
Don't envy someone who double, nay, triple check her work.
Don't envy someone who spends half the night awake to get to the top.
Don't envy someone who asks so much of herself just to hear a word of praise.

Don't envy me.